Rochester, NY – Conservationists in the area report that Lake Ontario water levels are higher than normal this year, causing concern for floods in the area.
To determine a cause, local freshwater biologists took a sample of lake water and discovered a surprising cause of the water level increase. They determined the water contained included a significant amount of your pee. They concluded the rising water levels were due to intake from the times you peed in the body of water, likely originating from the time you spend at Ontario Beach Park.
It’s possible you may have considered this a secret shame, and that no one would ever find out that you peed in the water, but thanks to DNA testing, now everyone knows your secret.
Scientists cannot determine whether this was a series of smaller incidents, or one extremely long, substantial pee, but they do know that it was you.
Maybe you assumed that urinating in Lake Ontario was common practice, but extensive testing on the composition of the lake water reveals that it was only you, you disgusting disgusting pee person.
Only time will tell if the rising levels will cause flooding, but what we do know now is that everyone knows about all the times you peed in Lake Ontario, and everyone hates you for it and thinks you’re gross.