ROCHESTER, NY – There’s a reason to come out and see your Rochester Red Wings this week and it has nothing to do with the artery-clogging, heartburn-inducing food options.

Tim Tebow, noted Christian and guy that has claimed to have never f***ed, will take the field for the Syracuse Mets vs our Red Wings for a 4 game series that will surely bring out a crowd to see the one and only non-sex haver football guy turned baseball virgin take the field.

Although he has never felt the tender touch of a woman (or man, maybe, that’s a little less certain) he is still chasing the dream of being a professional athlete and hopes to one day join the big league New York Mets.

“I’m just happy to get this opportunity to play baseball at the highest level, and also I have never jizzed.”