RPD Investigating Whether Irish Dancers Are Just Tall Oompa Loompas

Rochester, NY-  Floats, bagpipes, and Irish dancers. Those are some of the things to look forward to this Saturday during the St. Patricks day parade. But sources tell The Inner Loop Blog that the Rochester Police Department is investigating if the so-called overly tanned “Irish dancers” we see each year could just be very grown “Oompa Loompas” who have infiltrated our society and are posing as “Irish Dancers”.

Here is some of the hard evidence the RPD is using to make their case:

  1. They have overtly orange skin
  2. They’re hair is generally bright green
  3. They dance and sing on command
  4. We don’t understand why they look like that

 

 

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