People that Raise Windshield Wipers in the Winter More Likely to Stay Virgins Forever, Study Says

ROCHESTER, NY – A new study conducted by The Inner Loop Blog shows that people that raise their windshield wipers during the snowy winter months are more likely to be completely intolerable to talk to and more likely to never get laid.

It seems like the effort save literally 4 seconds of scraping ice off a wiper directly correlates to nearby sexual partners that you’re impatient and therefore will never please them in bed.

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