ROCHESTER NY – Rochester’s media darling is at it again folks! It appears that she has bucked her house arrest once again, picked up a 6 pack of Plates Pale Ale, and hot wired the now infamous yellow Lamborghini to haul ass to the northern border.
Local police and Facebook commentators alike are left looking like Boss Hog trying to catch this Duchess of Downtown Rochester as she flees the city looking for greener pastures and duty free Labatts.
Nobody knows how exactly she was able to break into and subsequently sneak out of the impound lot unscathed, however the popular music group Rusted Root was seen dressed in all black holding bolt cutters walking nearby. Unfortunately for local authorities, the musicians had an airtight alibi as they stated they were on their way to perform at “a Rochester music festival, you know, we’re definitely expected on one of them.”