The North Pole- BREAKING NEWS. Olivia the reindeer has just stepped forward accusing Santa of sexual harassment allegations. Olivia has some shocking allegations, she is accusing santa of making some very shocking statements, such as “I would love to have steering the back of my sleigh”, needless to say the community is disgusted and shocked. We reached out to Santas worker elves for a comment, only one came forward, we have agreed to keep his anonymity so he can remain safe. This is what he has to say.
” Yeah, everyone has always known about it. You hear the whispers throughout the workshop. Santa has “Favorites”, rudolph doesn’t guide that sleigh because of his nose. I mean for fuck sakes, we’ve had fog lights for over thirty years, you think some freaks bright nose is going to make the difference in traveling at night? People will believe whatever they want to believe. I mean here is this eighty something year old man running a sweatshop of children “lookalikes”, climbing into people’s homes during the night and dropping off gifts for children? Get the fuck out. Also dont even get me started the entire “Naughty or Nice” list.”
UPDATE: It seems the scandal has become bigger, news from the north pole is Frosty the snowman is under investigation for asking children to move his carrot nose to his nether regions.