Rochester,NY-  The past few months have been a very trying time for men in powerful places. From Kevin spacey to Louis C.K., men are for the first time having to take responsibility for their actions. It’s a scary time to be a sexual predator in this cruel world that doesn’t understand that they were just “having fun” and people need to understand things were “different” back then. Our reports have indicated that the man who started this trend of predators being called out for their behavior, Harvey Weinstein has now been found hiding out as a professor at the university of rochester in hopes of some sort of protection from the general public. We were able to get a one on one interview with him and this is what he had to say.

” I just dont understand what this world is coming too, I mean I remember the days where a fella could just yell out their innermost sexual thoughts at a woman on the street and it would be considered flirting. I guess I’ve lost touch with this generation. That’s why I came to the university of rochester, it seems like they remember the good ole days of protecting their own and not just throwing them under the bus. I figure I can spend the rest of my days here as a professor, earn my tenor, and smooth sailing from there. God, I should have been a professor this entire time.”

Update: The university of rochester has reported they will be giving every professor a once a semester “Get out of sexual harassment free” card from now on.