Surprise! Donald Trump Is Actually A Giant Pinata Filled With Mousetraps!

Rochester, NY- Today was supposed to be a special day for Donald Trump supporters in the greater Monroe area. We went to the chaotic scene only known as “The Trump Rally” happening and what can only be described as a mass gathering of people looking for a superficial leader whose only benefits include being very close to the brink of death and mass racism.

Donald Trump showed up in spectacular fashion arriving on his personal plane. The crowds cheered as their future dictator arrived to bring them into the eternal gates of Valhalla where ignorance and bigotry are fully accepted and actually promoted! We spoke with Alice Jones, one of the Donald trump supporters to get her view on this exciting day!

“I’ve been waiting outside for about eight hours now, Donald Trump means so much in my household, I use to think I was alone in hating everyone who didn’t think like me or had a different skin color than me, but then good old Donald came along and stared speaking to my heart. He truly knows what the american people want in their country!” Alice said

Alice took a moment away so she could dump an eight liter of mountain dew into her Doritos bag. When we asked Alice what she thought of America being built by immigrants, she transformed into a giant demon like creature and took off into the sky to forever torment the towns. “That’s about the third trump supporter this month that has done that today.”said local man with a brain.

The moment finally arrived for Donald Trump to make his way to the stage. Donald Trump waves his hands to silence his followers. “I would like to thank you great people of Rochester for coming out and supporting me. I’ve been to plenty of Rochester’s during my tour, but this is the best Rochester I have ever been too and I promise you if you vote me in for presidency, this will be the only Rochester in the entire United States of Trump, I will make it my personal goal to eliminate any other cities in the United States with the name Rochester.

At that moment a man from the crowd threw what seemed to be a rock at Donald Trump. Trumps skin seem to break with ease. Donald Trump tried to cover the hole, but at that point it was too late. A man jumped on stage from the crowd and starting beating Donald Trump with a foam bat, Donald Trump exploded into a mess of paper and confetti. The crowd was in shock, in front of his podium was a slew of mousetraps, the man dropped his foam bat and spoke into the microphone. “My fellow people, you are free at last. Since day one I have always known there was more to Donald than meets the eye. Donald Trump was just a giant pinata filled with mousetraps.” With those powerful words spoken, Donalds followers one by one started exploding, releasing mousetraps, rotten cheese and Mein Kampf books into the air.

*Editors Note*


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